Author Archives: Carol Moncado

Flash Fiction Friday! Coming Soon!

Okay – it’s coming tomorrow.  Today, Jan [my ‘other mom’] and I did a Five Minute Flash Fiction exercise.  We had a prompt.  We had five minutes and…

GO!

We spent five minutes writing about

Alice tried to remember who had given her the key.

then we exchanged our version of Alice and the key.  She posted it on one of her blogs and I posted mine in the comments.  We decided to make it a weekly thing.  Our plan is to get together in Skype and do it together [though we may not every week based on schedules, etc. or we may do it on Thursday for posting on Friday if we know we have busy days but that’s the plan], then post on our respective blogs.

Once we’ve posted ours, we both want to know what you come up with!  What can you write about Alice and her key?!

My personal rules include: using the prompt as the first sentence whenever possible and very little editing [spelling and punctuation only, if that] so what you’ll see is what I wrote.  Unedited.  Eesh!  Am I sure that’s what I want on a blog that I hope agents may look at someday?!  Ah well, them’s the rules!  My rules, but still ;).

So – anyone else have any ideas about Alice?  Stick your story in the comments – otherwise look for the first official Flash Fiction Friday tomorrow :).

Flash Fiction Friday

What I’ve Read Wednesday

YAY!  I’m finally getting to post a review on Wednesday :).  I’ve been planning to do this for like a month and a half now, but things like Christopher’s ‘let’s play the stop breathing game’ and hospital visit stuff then school got in the way.  I have about fifteen books sitting on the table next to me that need reviewed and returned to the library.  The plan is to do that then they’re all ready to go each Wednesday ;).

So for today’s book… Candace Calvert’s Critical Care!  I just discovered Candace’s books last week thanks to a blog post and then a rabbit trail from that blog to another one, then another, then scrolling through then… Well, it was like a pachinko machine, to be honest and I don’t remember the exact path, but that’s okay =D.

Christopher and I did our early morning school/babysitter thing, grocery shopping, stopped by the school to drop off Emily’s snacks for her Star student snack day [her teacher said she loves being Star student – shocking!  Em loving the center of attention?!  Couldn’t be!  Of course, her shorts are on backwards but that’s because Dad was home this morning ;)], talked to Miss Julie [Abbie and Emily’s preschool teacher who was outside with this year’s preschoolers], stopped at the library [love the drive up window!], the bank then home to put up the groceries, feed the 3yo and watch too much Mickey Mouse Clubhouse [the new Road Race episode in which Mickey’s voice sounds funky – did they get a new voice actor?] and I settled in to start Critical Care.  We got home about 11 am.  I finished before 2pm.  That’s a good thing.

Initial thoughts:
It’s a bit shorter than most of the books I’ve read recently but I’m good with that.  It actually gives me hope because it’s about the same length as Unbreak Her Heart.  Mine is about 72K words and I’d be interested to know what Critical Care came in at.

From the cover:

After her brother dies in a trauma room, nurse Claire Avery can no longer face the ER. She’s determined to make a fresh start–new hospital, new career in nursing education–move forward, no turning back. But her plans fall apart when she’s called to offer stress counseling for medical staff after a heart-breaking day care center explosion. Worse, she’s forced back to the ER, where she clashes with Logan Caldwell, a doctor who believes touchy-feely counseling is a waste of time. He demands his staff be as tough as he is. Yet he finds himself drawn to this nurse educator … who just might teach him the true meaning of healing.

What I Loved:

  • Jeremiah 29:11 – Yep, my favorite verse makes several appearances :).  It’s written on my bathroom mirror right now and displayed prominently in Claire’s home.  Is it God telling me something?  Or random coincidence?  I know what Jan would say… 😉

What I liked:

  • I’ve spent too much time in the last couple of decades [eep!] watching medical dramas of one kind or another.  Reading about one is a bit different!  Critical Care is inspirational ER without the ‘drama’ [in the off-screen sense; ER went on a few seasons too long…]  I could see the emergency room in my mind’s eye both from those shows and from our all too recent visit ourselves [see: Overwhelming Gratitude]
  • I love Claire.  I feel for her after the tragic loss.
  • I love Logan.  I didn’t like his picture on the cover :p.  I kept thinking ‘but he doesn’t have long curly hair in his picture!’  I know – author’s don’t have much choice in that ;).
  • I love the rest of the supporting characters!  They’re so real!  Erin struggling with relationships.  Sarah dealing with her past.  How those things are resolved.  Or at least starting to resolve.
  • Logan finally opening up – not just with Claire but with everyone.  The resolution in his life with so many things in his past.
  • The ending left me with a smile on my face.
  • I’m glad that Disaster Status was on Amazon for like 1.50 or so yesterday – the Kindle edition – so I already have it on the iPhone waiting to read because the library’s two copies aren’t due for at least a week – but I still wish I had an actual hard copy to read :/.

What I Didn’t Like:

  • The ending :p.  Yes, I see what I wrote up there.  But I also know that Disaster Status picks up at another hospital with one of those supporting characters who moves at the end of the book.  Okay, I can deal with that.  But my inner literary voyeur wants more Claire and Logan ;).
  • Um… that’s about it ;).  Except that I wish the one character, minor though he may be, would have gotten his comeupence [how do you spell that?!] because it so annoys me that he didn’t.  But that particular kind of situation is a bit near and dear to my heart.

Overall:

It’s going on my Amazon wish list.  I liked the characters.  I loved the romance.  And I liked the medical aspect of it – maybe it’s too many hours wasted watching ER, House, or true stories on Discovery Health, but I liked it!  I also found an interview on Title Trakk that said that she has other books out for the general market – comic mysteries with a wacky cruise nurse or something to that effect.  Think I’m going to have to try to find those :).

9 of 10 stars

Now to finish those query letters and get my main webpage up and running instead of having the ‘coming soon’ thing on there forever.  It needs a bio and the first chapter posted – though I did post the first page here on the blog :).

Family, Reading, Reviews

What I’ve Read – Special Holiday Weekend Edition, Part 2

Yeah so this is late.  Internet was floofy last night.  I really did enjoy Out of Her Hands though I’m not sure that comes across in the review.  I think I need a new review numbering system… Five stars just doesn’t have enough nuance, I don’t think.  So here’s to 10 stars with definitions probably along the lines of those at Overweight Bookshelf – at least until I come up with something witty of my own.  I’ll go back and change the other two reviews I’ve done.

After we got home from Tulsa Saturday night and got the kids in bed, I opened Out of Her Hands. I finished it on Sunday.  I’m struggling a bit with this because I really did like it and though my nitpicks seem to be more in the forefront than with Searching for Spice, I liked them both enough to put them on my Amazon wish list.  But I still feel like my nitpicks way outweigh my likes which isn’t truly the case – for some reason, I’m having an easier time articulating them though…

I’ve hesitated about posting this because of the old ‘more nice than not’ rule and I don’t feel I’ve truly followed it.  I do hope that it comes across that I did enjoy the book.

Summary:

Life moves on for Linda Revere.  Her kids are growing up.  Before long, she’ll have an empty nest.  Her marriage is good.  But Nick has a secret girlfriend – someone who isn’t Christian.  There are other struggles going on with Emma, Deb and even Carol, the client who befriended Linda in Searching for Spice.

What I liked:

  • Linda!  I still love her!
  • Ross!  And Doris!  I love them!  They can be my grandparents!
  • Bert and Slim!  I love Bert and Slim!  I want Bert and Slim for my other grandparents [and yes, that means that I want Joyce and Harry for parents 😉 – or at least aunt and uncle].
  • The studio seems to have mellowed a bit.  That’s good, but I did enjoy some of the quirkiness there.  Thomas and his gossip are real, if annoying ;).  And where’s Pam?!
  • Carol – I’m glad she’s back.  Part of me wishes that Linda would stand up to her a bit, but I understand why she doesn’t stand up to Carol more than she does.  I do wish Carol would ‘grow up’ or whatever a bit and be a bit less demanding.
  • Deb – I love Deb.  I wish her well in the life changes she’s experiencing.  I kind of hope at least part of it falls through so we see her more in the next book.
  • I see potential in Amber, Nick’s girlfriend.  As a character, she’s probably where she should be at this point in her life.  As a ‘real person’, she would have a ways to go towards becoming who she could be.  I hope we get a chance to see that.
  • I do enjoy the other situations the family gets in – the ones not related to parenting situations at hand.  The painting choices, the Thanksgiving, the tentative steps towards a relationship with Amber [until Amber, in my eyes anyway, does something to ruin it – like the sweater thing], the weddings, etc.

Nitpicks:

  • Even more than in Searching for Spice, Jerry’s perfection grates on me some.  More than some at times.  His solution for Nick is a good one, but he offers it without discussing it with Linda.  I think it was the right choice, and I think Linda would have, too, but to make the decision without discussing it first was the wrong thing.  I would have been okay with that if he’d apologized for it later, but he didn’t and she never called him on it.  While he doesn’t come across as ‘holier than thou’ or anything, that he is always right bugs me.  Nobody is that perfect.  And it seems that Linda is always wrong.  That bugs me too :).
  • I was somewhat critical of Andrea Boeshaar in Always a Bridesmaid for the parental control over a grown child living at home.  There, the character was practically grounded for not calling home.  Here, DiMaria seems to go too far the other way – at least IMO.  Nick was out all night, in the middle of a snowstorm, without calling.  He worried his parents, he was inconsiderate and it seemed glossed over.  Nick does say it won’t happen again, but there seems to be very little contrition on his part at that point but it isn’t addressed.
  • Jerry – though his always rightness bugs me, so does his lack of stepping up at times.  Nick seemed to need a good man-to-man talk at more than one point, particularly after the mall incident between Linda and Amber.  While I understand his ‘no gossiping’ stance, I felt like Linda should have discussed her concerns about Nick and Amber with him at that point and Jerry should have sat him down for a heart-to-heart.
  • Amber…  She’s still growing.  She’s not there yet and so this could very well be a part of future books, but she has a serious chip on her shoulder at times.  She’s cruel to Linda at times – whether intentionally or not [the sweater party?!] – but never apologizes and never really says ‘thank you’ for everything Linda and Jerry do.  At least that was my impression.  She may have said the words, but I didn’t get the attitude of gratitude.
  • Deb still has her head in the sand.  While she’s technically accurate in her description of her relationship, it’s such a slippery slope and I think, in real life anyway, she’s going to wake up to find out that she’s had blinders on.  I think it’s possible that will happen in book 3 [if there is a book 3 :)].
  • Nick.  We never saw him broken over what was going on near the end of the book.  We never saw him grapple with his decisions, with the implications of faith and those decisions.  The whole thing is from Linda’s POV but seeing some of the struggle would have been nice.  He’s changed a fair bit, it seems, since the first book and I wonder about the catalyst for that change – is it Amber or did it start before that?  Will he step up and be the man of God his dad and grandpa are?
  • The last bit seemed…  glossed over.  No, that’s not right.  But more of a ‘in the last six months these things happened’ epilogue type feel to the last couple of chapters.  I think it could have ended fairly happily after the big deal happening in May [which would have made it a bit short, but the whole spring passed in a paragraph or two…] and then a whole other book written about what happened after that – though the rest isn’t maybe quite enough for a full book, maybe half or 2/3 of one and I’m sure other wrenches could be thrown in the works for the last 1/2-1/3 :).  However, I know editors and publishers can have a big part in that kind of thing so I’m choosing to believe that they had much to do with that.

Loose ends:

  • What about Pam from Searching for Spice?
  • What about the history teacher?  What was the fallout from that?
  • What about the fallout with Katrina’s day off?

Overall:

I totally called the family connection ;).  You’ll see what I mean when you read it.  Just remember that I called it!

I give Out of Her Hands 7.5 out of 10 stars.  I sincerely hope for a third book and, hopefully, see some resolution for Nick and Deb, in particular.  And Emma who is moving off to college.  I’ll read it again and I’ll be waiting for the sequel.

Reviews, Writing

The ‘In Crowd’

It’s September.  That means it’s time for me to send out the serious queries to guys like Steve Laube and all of the agents at Books and Such and so on.  Of course, today there’s a post by Michael Hyatt on his blog [Top Ten Posts of August – hits wise] and there’s a link to a post he made with all of the agents he’s worked with who work with Christian authors.  There’s like 40 of them!  While that’s much better than my list of *six*, I wish I’d seen it earlier in the summer when I could have queried the non-first choices earlier.  Ah well.  Back then my query letter wasn’t as good ;).  Just ask Erin.

I’ve been looking around at blogs and Facebook pages and see a number of the authors I’m discovering are ‘friends’ or ‘fans’ of each other.  I long to become a part of that group – even if the relationships are superficial at best.  Just a sign of support for a fellow author with no real relationship [I don’t know that that is the case, of course, and it seems that more than one have genuine relationships but as a ‘worst case’ kind of thing].  I see not just the Deb Raneys or Karen Kingsburys who have dozens of books out but those like Megan DiMaria and Candace Calvert who have two or three and wonder if I really have what it takes.

I know I’m insecure about myself and my abilities.  Mostly.  Every once in a while, I have a shining moment of self-confidence where I know – no, I know that I know – that I can do this.  That I have talent as a writer.  That someone besides me will find humor in what I find humor in [and not just like Melissa who laughed as Mandie loves Andy’s Frozen Custard and St. Louis Cardinals games – like I do! Or Penny when Mandie and Liz’s mom eats dessert for her appetizer – just like her mom does!].  That someone else will cry as I have when writing my characters in difficult situations.  That someone else will be so entranced that they’ll grin from ear to ear like I do when romance finally finds the hero or heroine.  I can do this.

Will the road to author-dom take me to a major publishing house?  Will I find that an agent is a rare commodity indeed and that, even with persistence, I’m just not quite that good?  Will I end up, a few years and several more Nanos from now, self publishing and hoping to sell 25 copies to friends and family while keeping that slim hope that one copy will someday find it’s way into the hands of Chip MacGregor or someone at Alive Communications?

I don’t know.  But I know I’m going down this road.  This is something I’ve longed for on one level or another since Jr. High or earlier [and I have the /shudder/ stories Chrissy and I wrote to prove it!].  I’m going to pursue it.  If Unbreak Her Heart doesn’t end up being my big break, that’s okay.  I’ve got at least two plotlines I could work on for Nano this year and then query next year.  I’ve grown and learned this year.  I’ve handled my three rejections [and a number of other no responses] well.  The ones that will come this fall may be a bit harder to deal with, but I can.  I’ve been clinging to the verse

For I know the plans I have for you, saith the LORD.  Plans to prosper you and not to harm you.  Plans for hope and a future.
Jeremiah 29:11

I looked up Jeremiah 29:12 tonight because there is no period at the end of verse 11.

Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
Jeremiah 29:12

He will listen.  Verse 12 is on my bathroom mirror.  I’m claiming it.  But verse 13… “I will listen to you“.  The Lord of all creation will listen to me!  ME!  How cool is that?  He knows the desires of my heart.  He hears me when I pray, when I ask for His will but knowing that I hope His will and my desires are lining up.  Isn’t that the best ‘in crowd’ to be in?!

He knows I’ve never truly been a part of any ‘in crowd’ – not as far as I was concerned anyway and it’s likely that even if I were to sell millions of books I would never feel like I’d ‘arrived’, but it’s nice to dream.  And all the ladies I’ve had contact of any kind with have been nothing but gracious.  I hope that, someday, if there’s some other hopeful author out there who contacts me, I can be just as kind.

Wouldn’t that just be cool?  To be seen as part of the ‘in crowd’?  Ah… a girl can dream!

Agents, Writing

What I’ve Read – Special Holiday Weekend Edition, Part 1

So we went to Tulsa yesterday for a quick trip to see my dad, stepmom, stepsister and her family.   I had found Megan DiMaria’s website thanks to a link on someone else’s blog [how bad is it I’ve forgotten who!?  AH!] – that was Thursday.  I reserved her two books through the library but they weren’t in on Friday, but both happened to be at the library that’s not too far out of Matt’s way home so he picked them up for me – what a sweetie!

I read Searching for Spice in the car on the way and on the way back.  I wrote some notes out today after I’d read Out of Her Hands and I think that review may be a bit more comprehensive since I wrote the notes literally minutes after I finished that one, but I think this is pretty good :).

I am a bit hesitant as I post this.  I did enjoy Searching for Spice and I think part of my lack of… overwhelming enthusiasm? is my own deal and not the book’s which doesn’t help.  I expected Chick Lit and either my definition of Chick Lit is off or I had the wrong impression.  My understanding of Chick Lit is mostly funny [like a sit-com; they can have serious moments, but they’re more likely to make you laugh out loud].  Searching certainly had its amusing moments, but it wasn’t what I would term Chick Lit based on my understanding.  I don’t know where I got the impression of the genre – maybe from the library’s website? – but most likely I had the wrong impression.

So that colored my perception of the book as I read it.  I also hesitate slightly because I know that the author, Megan DiMaria, has recently had a family tragedy and while I have mostly good things to say, I hate to say anything negative knowing what she’s going through.

I’m still working on exactly what format these reviews will take so bear with me :).

All that said… Here’s my review of Searching for Spice.

Summary: Linda’s marriage is feeling a bit stale and she’s looking for spice – with her husband!  She comes up with a number of plans.  She plots everything out as best she can, but then life happens.  Linda and Jerry have two kids – 15 year old Emma and Nick who is several years older.  Add in a dog who seems slightly neurotic, best friends and a job at a top notch photography studio and you’ve got real life.

Things I liked:

  • Linda.  Her plan for spicing up her life by seeking a more ‘bodice ripper’ type lifestyle without seeking it outside her marriage.  I love that!!!  I wish more Christians were like that!  Men and women!  Imagine if we all had affairs – with our SPOUSES!  How cool would that be?
  • Life happens.  There’s medical scares, teenagers doing things teenagers do – but with potentially dire consequences, and romance with the love of her life.  Though my children are much younger, I can relate to what they’re going through.
  • Real characters… mostly.  Jerry’s reactions with the medical issue.  He’s a scientist and seeks out information.  That’s what a scientist does.  Even if it’s not what Linda needs, it’s what he knows best.  In his own way, he’s there for her as best he can be.
  • Real problems.  Anyone who’s worked in customer service knows how challenging it can be.  Some of Linda’s customers are real pieces of work.  But when push comes to shove, her strongest ally comes from a very unexpected place.  Real health issues.  Wrong assumptions – we’ve all made them.

Nitpicks:

  • Jerry seems almost too perfect in his Christian walk.  Sure his attempts at romance sometimes fall short, but he’s trying.  I can relate to that.  But he’s always right on matters of importance.  Always.  That bugs me.  It’s quite possible he struggles ‘off screen’ but we don’t see it.
  • Deb.  I love Deb.  I do.  I think she has her head in the sand.  A real problem surfaces after which it seems that Deb pretends the call to Linda never happened.  It’s very possible it will all come to a head in a later book and in fact after reading book 2, there’s a very real opening for that to happen not too long after book 2 ends.
  • The problem with one of the teens…  The resolution to the problem happens as the book ends.  I would like to see what else, if anything, Jerry and Linda do as far as punishment, etc. with the kiddo involved but that would have been outside the time frame for this book.  I don’t remember it being addressed at all in the second book.
  • I felt like the history teacher thing was left hanging a bit.  Again, it could have been addressed in Out of Her Hands, but it wasn’t – or I missed it; I’ll check again.  Maybe those two should be part of the nitpicks for OoHH, but they’re going here ;).

Overall:

Overall, I enjoyed it.  I’ll read it again.  It’s going on my Amazon wish list.  I know another book is in the works by Megan DiMaria and I hope it’s the third in this series, though I’ll be one of the first in line for whatever work she has in progress.  The nitpicks are fairly minor overall and things I can live with.  4 out of 5 stars.

My prayers continue to be with the DiMaria family as they deal with their personal tragedy.

Look for Part 2: Out of Her Hands tomorrow.

Uncategorized

Overwhelming Gratitude

I was on Candace Calvert’s Facebook page and she was having a drawing for sharing your ‘summer blessing’.  I thought for a minute.  Christopher is my summer blessing – he’s a July baby  – but that was three years ago.

And then the gratitude hit me.  It was just 3 weeks or so ago that I could have very easily lost him.  I hadn’t planned on changing his diaper before he went to bed.  He was dry when I changed him but he was complaining his tushie hurt.  It was while I was changing him that he was flat on his back and stopped breathing.  He didn’t respond.  I called 911.  By the time they answered, he’d roused.

But if he hadn’t complained about his tush, I would have put him in bed.  He would have been in his room, by himself [most likely, we’d talked about putting his mattress in our room but hadn’t decided for sure yet] and then stopped breathing.  What would have happened to my little man if he hadn’t had ‘strep butt’ [same bacteria as strep throat, different location ;)] and complained that it hurt?  Would he even be here today?

I spent a number of minutes overwhelmed at the mere thought of what could have happened to my sweet boy.  Small things that, literally, changed the course of my life – for the better this time.  I wonder sometimes what God has in store for him that he comes under such great attack – at least that’s how it seems.  Matt [and his mom?] shouldn’t have survived his childbirth in the mid-70s.  Without Matt, no Christopher.  Christopher wouldn’t have survived his first year as little as 60 or so years ago [the Nissen Fundoplication was first done in the mid-50s].  He struggled so much that first year even with the surgery, I can’t imagine what would have happened without it.

So in honor of my big boy – here’s a pic of him enjoying life!

[Okay – so it was Easter and he was mad he was getting his picture taken but still…  Think I’ll hug him extra tight in the morning before we head out on a day trip.  Have two books by Megan DiMaria for the road :).]

Uncategorized

Which Do You Prefer First – the Good News or the Bad?

/sigh/

I know I missed the first weekly ‘What I Read Wednesday’.  The day was insane.  Insane amounts of rain – part of our county got a foot; not sure how much we got but felt like that much.  Dentist appointments.  Checking out a place for a birthday party.  Dinner at Chick-fil-A [thank God for coupons! And for good friends who happen to own it who give them to you for your birthday ;)].  I was wiped out by the time we got home and honestly flat out forgot.

So, which do you prefer.  The good news or the bad?  Because you so have a choice in what I post first ;).

The good news: The dentist appointments went well.  Emily had the whole office giggling by the time she left.  Christopher has his first appointment in about 6 months – hopefully he’ll get over the whole ‘I won’t let anyone look in my mouth’ thing by then.

The other good news: FINALLY got the query letter perfected!  Or as perfected as it’s going to get anyway – unless I have some other flash of brilliance, but I don’t anticipate it.  Erin said it’s her favorite so far and absolutely loves it – she’d want more!

The bad news: Christopher apparently spilled water on the [closed and put away] laptop last night.  Matt’s laptop.  The hard drive is now dead as is probably the motherboard.  Or that’s the general consensus of our techie neighbor and another techie friend.  That means new laptop in the future at a time when funds are as tight as they’ve ever been since we started Dave Ramsey’s Financial Peace University five and a half years ago.  We have no credit cards to fall back on and a summer of me not working has taken a serious toll on our savings accounts.  Add in a trip to Tulsa to see fam tomorrow and not sure where the money to get the new laptop is going to come from…  And the sales are THIS weekend…  We do have the one that got milk spilled on it last November [during Nanowrimo no less!] and it works but the keyboard is finicky at best and it’s mainly used as a conduit for watching iTunes programs and streaming other video to one of the TVs.  If worse comes to worst, he could use it until school paychecks start rolling in but it’s frustrating to say the least…

So, off to finish query letters up and hope someone decided to buy the book so that we have more expendable cash ;).  Okay – not the only reason, but a good one!

Two new authors/blogs I’ve found this week: Megan DiMaria and Candace Calvert – books by both are on their way to my local library for me to pick up :).

Uncategorized

Discouragement… or Fear?

I know I haven’t posted since we got home from the hospital.  Part of it is that we’ve been busy.  Christopher took up a lot of time – just being a cuddle bug, etc.  School started for the girls.  School started for Matt.  School started for me.  Doc appointments.  Everything else.

I got a phone call a week and a half ago asking me to teach another class on a different campus [the college I teach for has several throughout the area].  I took it – a bit grudgingly because the campus is FAR [though not as far as the others]. Turns out, it actually takes me LESS time to get to that campus than it does the main campus because it’s highway the whole way instead of through town.  It’s farther but the time difference is negligible at worst [though that may change with inclement weather – we’ll see].  That’s good.  I know the guy who does the scheduling on that campus and have for years.  He’s already promised to get me on the schedule for spring.  I LOVE it there and would gladly teach four classes out there and none on the main campus if I could :) .

So… discouragement.  I’m feeling discouraged even though I know I shouldn’t at this point.  I have two friends and one other person I’m connected to with books either out, coming out, or in negotiations.  Karen posted yesterday that the book she ghost-wrote and submitted six weeks ago to their FIRST CHOICE publisher is on to contract negotiations.  That is insanely fast.  Kristen posted this week that she started her blog less than a year ago and her Ultimate Guide to the Daniel Fast is coming out in December.  Also insanely fast.  And in color!  Angela, my fabu webmistress lady, is the daughter of Joyce Ann Rose who has her first book signing today [I think it’s today – it may  have been yesterday].  Erin posted a week or so ago that she’s working on her third book and wants to have it done by November so it can be out in May.  Her last book did very well for the market it’s in.  She didn’t even laugh at me [at least not in the email!] when I offered to help her beta or brainstorm or whatever :) .  Have I mentioned I love Erin?!  I am so happy for her and so proud of her!

All that to say… I am feeling a bit discouraged.  I know I shouldn’t be because I’ve sent out THREE queries, all to agents I was fairly certain would reject them and they did – in a timely manner.  I haven’t sent ANY to my top choice agents because once I do, if they reject me, I’m done.  As long as I don’t send them, they can’t reject me.  But if I don’t send them, they can’t accept me either…  I know this but I’m in one of those ‘what makes me think I can do this’ phases.  I hate it.  I know this is something I’m good at.  I’ve had two friends read Unbreak Her Heart this week and they both enjoyed it very much.  The one thing that one of them had an issue with is one thing I knew I might end up changing if an agent/publisher said I needed to – it’ll be a pitb to do but I can do it [first to third person – oy!].

So why am I discouraged? I’m not really sure.  I want this so badly and it’s scary to put yourself out there.  Maybe I’m not discouraged.  Maybe I’m paralyzed by fear. Fear of rejection.  Fear of not being good enough.  Fear of not just rejection but mean rejection [not just a chintzy form letter but ‘You stink! What makes you think you can write?!’ coming from an industry respected agent – not that I have any indication that any of them would do such a thing of course].  Even… fear of success?

Maybe, deep down, I believe the record player that’s been stuck in my head for years – the one that says I’m not good enough, I’m not smart enough and no, people really don’t like me.  [Anyone catch the reference? ;) ]  I’ve been working for years to change the refrain in my head, Matt’s been working for years to change it, but it’s still there and I still believe it.

Knowing what I’m fighting against is half the battle, though, right?  What is it about writing it all down that makes it seem so silly?  I’m so very happy for Karen and Kristen and Erin – and Ang’s mom even though I don’t know her.

So I’m going to wallow in some Andy’s for a bit later today, brush myself off and ‘feel the fear and do it anyway’.  My goal for the weekend is to get query packets together for the agents I want the most and then take them with me to my Bible study group on Monday night and hope I have the courage to ask the ladies there to pray with me over them.  That they would go to the right people on the right day while he or she is in the right mood to be receptive.

So new plan for the weekend:  Write Jeremiah 29:11 on my mirror in big letters.  Clean the kids’ rooms [sadly that part doesn’t change :p].  Go swimming with the neighbors.  Finish research the CBA agents.  Rework [again!] my first ‘hook’ sentence so I can get the packets together.  Email the equeries.  Print the rest and get them all in appropriately addressed envelopes.  That’s the plan anyway ;) .  I’ll let you know how it goes, especially since there’s a book I’m dying to read waiting for me at the library!  Look for a new feature – What I’ve Read Wednesday – starting this week!

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Heading Home!

After three days in the hospital, we’re headed home.  The general consensus is that Christopher doesn’t tolerate the codeine very well.  After mentioning that, Matt’s mom and aunt both mentioned that they can’t take it :p.  Would have been good to know but now we do :).  It’s not bad enough to list as an allergy, but to use with extreme caution and mention it to health care providers in the future.  He had another episode in the hospital, but it’s all good now that he’s off those meds.

He’s eating and drinking in the other room with Matt right now but as soon as the papers are filled out, we’re on our way home!  PTL!

Family

Update on Son

Before going any further, know that Christopher is fine ;).

Well, our 3 year old had his tonsils and adenoids removed Thursday – as planned.  Not as planned, he refused to cooperate when it came to eating and drinking afterwards.  We think he was nauseated as a second dose of nausea medicine seemed to help A LOT.  Because of a surgery he had as a baby [to be expanded on in the Christopher posts], he has to be REALLY sick to throw up, so it’s likely he would have if not for that.  Anyway – instead of being released an hour or so after surgery, we were there for about 4.5 hours.  They were pretty close to sending us to the hospital [about .5 mile away] for observation overnight, but we avoided that and got home about 2:30.

At about 4:45, he refused to take his meds.  I had to hold him tight and squirt it in his mouth while he was fighting, something I’ve done dozens of times before with all the kids.  This time, something went wrong and he stopped breathing for a moment.  As soon as I got him upright, he was fine.  A little freaked out, but fine.  He went to sleep pretty quick and slept until about 9.  He sat with a friend who had come over so I wasn’t alone [Matt had a meeting] until about 940 then moved to the kitchen for some applesauce.

The friend left [I told her to] as she had an early morning and Matt would be home in about fifteen minutes.  I went to change Christopher’s diaper only to have him stop breathing again.  This time, I couldn’t revive him so 911 was called.  The girls did fabulous following instructions [Em got Maggie so Maggie could call Dad on the cell, all of them going downstairs so they wouldn’t be in the way for the ambulance, etc].  About the time the operator answered, he was breathing again.  We took him to the ER in the ambulance about 10:30 Thursday night and there we remain.  Well, on the peds unit [for the 4th time in his life :p – plus once for Maggie; we’re no strangers to these fabulous nurses!].

In the overnight on Friday morning, he had to have a nasal cannula for a while [he did not like that!] and we’ll see how he does overnight.  Depending on how he does, we hope to go home tomorrow but… we’ll have to see.

Prayers for his continued recovery [and Mom and Dad’s peace of mind!] would be greatly appreciated!

Family
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