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Queries and Votes

Current Facebook Status: Woke with a killer headache, but feeling better, thank God!
Currently Playing in the Background: New season of Flashpoint

I did it.

And I haven’t puked.

Yet.

In the last hour or so, I emailed three query letters to three of my top choice agents. In 2 weeks, 30 days and 60 days, I’ll know. All three have policies that say ‘if you haven’t heard from us in x time period, we’re not interested at this time’ and those are the times. So if I’m not squealing sometime soon, you’ll know it was a pass.

In the meantime…

I’m working on PRAYERS ANSWERED and making some real forward progress on it. Hoping to get upwards of 3K done on it today. We’ll see, but headed to Panera tonight for that reason.

Plus…

It’s time to VOTE!!!!! All eight Purple Shadows entries are posted and voting started today. So far, I’m in second.

You can vote here. Partway down on the left. Of course, I’d love for you to vote for me, but I’ll still love ya if you vote for someone else instead ;).

Now, I think it’s time for some ice cream.

Conflicted…

Current Facebook Status: Thanks to our troops, active & former, front lines & support, who in one way or another made this possible.

A bit conflicted – should be sad/upset that he likely died unready to meet his Maker; I find it hard to be so.

Glad O called GWB to tell him, but a bit… something at the phrasing how O directed CIA to find him. Made it sound like no one did before, diminishing the sacrifices made over the 8 years prior.

And later in the comments: Also conflicted about the celebrations. Kristin Billerbeck tweeted: “I’m not liking the image of everyone celebrating in front of the White House. It looks a lot like when terrorists celebrate American deaths”

While I understand it, a mass m…urderer brought to the only justice to be found on Earth for him [captured and tried? Could not have happened], but fear it could be cause for more terror, and… I dunno. Conflicted about it.

Maybe… “I’ve never wished a man dead, but I’ve read some obituaries with great pleasure.” -Mark Twain

Currently Playing in the Background: Nothing. Silence. I love it!

I think the Facebook status says it all.

Osama bin Laden is dead.

I have a hard time thinking this is anything but a good thing. The man was an admitted mass murderer [though he didn’t ‘pull the trigger’ as it were, he orchestrated many events that killed innocents, not the least of which was 9/11]. If you thought the ‘let’s give Khalid Sheik Mohammed a trial in NYC’ debacle was a… well, debacle, it’s nothing compared to what a capture/trial would have been like for OBL. Sadaam was at least turned over to his own people who carried out a trial and death sentence under Iraqi law. Much less complicated than ‘is he a POW? An enemy combatant? Does he have Constitutional rights? What about Gitmo? [try closing it with bin Laden as a resident] Military tribunal? Civil trial? Is there a ‘John Adams’ willing to give him a vigorous defense?’

Death by special forces was the only real option outside of natural causes or a coup within Al Qaeda*. I have the opening scene from Air Force One playing in my head, but with a different outcome for the target.

Regardless, while no man can truly know the heart of another, it seems relatively safe to say that OBL was likely not ready to meet his Maker. On some level, that saddens me. While justice on Earth would remain the same, eternal damnation would not be the outcome if OBL had come to know Jesus on a personal level here on Earth.

It reminds me of my need for Christ. For His mercy. His grace. “All we like sheep have gone astray.” No, I’m not a mass murderer. No, I’ve never really wished anyone dead. But I’m still a sinner.

There was more I contemplated saying, but it’s late and I’m finally getting tired.

The speech was good. Though I did feel like Obama took credit more than he deserved. Maybe any president would have. I did think the line about ‘not long after I took office, I instructed the CIA to make this a top priority’ made it sound like Bush had told the CIA ‘eh, you know, if you happen to come across him while you’re out jogging, let me know’. I don’t like Obama. I don’t like his policies. This is one of the few things I can point to that I feel his administration has done right, and I’ve tried to take that into consideration, but to me, it sounded like all of the groundwork done by others over the previous 8-9 years didn’t exist. A friend posted on Facebook ‘he did in two years what other presidents couldn’t do in 2 decades’. I don’t believe that’s entirely accurate at all. Obama built on what the others had done. And it was on his watch that it happened.

It’ll be a while, if ever, before we know the full story. I’m sure some producer out there is already trying to get the rights for the major motion picture. It’s possible that nothing GWB or Clinton or GHWB did mattered and it was all based solely on stuff the Obama administration did, but I find that highly unlikely.

My hat** goes off to the troops and intelligence personnel, current and former, front lines and support, those currently overseas, who have been overseas or who serve in any capacity. Thank you from the bottom of my heart for the sacrifices you and your families have made to keep me and my family safe.

*Matt’s theory was he was hit in the head by a 50# bag of rice at his local Sam’s Club… Don’t know how plausible that might be though… 😉
**My hat, though imaginary, is much cooler than some of the ones at the wedding Friday morning.

Query Day?

Current Facebook Status: Maggie has a horrible headache. Never seen one of my kids look so headache-y miserable :(. Sending her to bed at 7 in hopes that extra sleep will help. [Actually from last night]
Playing in the Background: Imagination Movers. Again.
NovelTrack progress: 13231/50000

Making progress on SUBURBAN STRAIGHTJACKET, though this first draft isn’t being nearly as amusing as I’d like. /sigh/ But I’m still making progress. There may even be a /gasp/ kiss shortly! A nice steamy one perhaps. I’m not really sure yet. I’m too much of a pantser to know this far ahead. And by ‘this far ahead’ I mean like a page ;).

Dad went home from the hospital Monday and is going to be fine as long as he follows doctor’s orders [you know, diet and exercise].

So… Today… Goal was to send out queries by today. Trip to see Dad Monday threw that off a bit, but today’s still the day.

And I’m petrified.

I know agents are just people and they want to find fresh, new talent. But UNBREAK HER HEART is the novel I’ve been working on for 18 months. The sequel is the story I’ve wanted to write for at least six years. Having it rejected is scary. The only other rough draft I have completed is the sequel. The next closest to done is UNANSWERED PRAYERS. And I don’t know that it’ll ever get done because I just don’t know if I can pull off the suspense.

So what if everyone rejectes UHH? Am I just done? It’s scary.

What if I’m a one-hit wonder who never gets up to bat? [Sorry, baseball themed Imagination Movers is on.]

/sigh/

Later today I’m gonna revamp my query letter. Again. And then send it out on a wing and a prayer. And pray that I can accept the rejection when it comes – or doesn’t come, because so many agents and editors just say ‘if you haven’t heard from us in 60 days, we’re not interested’.

Here goes nothin…

Those Pesky Goals

Remember those goals I set at the end of last year? Yeah, doing okay on some of those. Not so well on others.

For instance, I have read NO craft books yet this year. However, I don’t have a list of fiction books I’ve read. It’s likely dozens though. At least 2-3 dozen. And I just started a new one ;).

I am ready to query UNBREAK HER HEART. That’s my goal for this year. I did enter two entries in Genesis. I’m hoping [praying really] to finish a rough draft of Nick and Becca’s PRAYERS ANSWERED during Novel Track this month. I wrote like 80 some words yesterday. Not much, but better than the three days prior ;).

I have finished UHH, the final draft [unless I have some kind of flash of insight]. I have also finished the rough draft of the sequel. So that’s one of the five I want to finish :). I’ve also started two others. One of those I can’t finish until after ACFW because I’ve never been to a conference of that type and that’s what it’s based on. SUBURBAN STRAIGHTJACKET is fun =D. It’s added to the goal, probably instead of one of the others.

I’ve sort of forgotten where this was going. Just found out Dad’s in the hospital. He’s okay. Think they just need to watch him and adjust his meds and he’ll be fine. Think we’re going to go visit him tomorrow. But it’s thrown me off track. So in the meantime, I’m going to go outside with the kids :). I’ll get back to these sometime soon…

God’s Timing is Perfect – Again…

Facebook Status: Would like to thank the thunderstorm for that one last, insanely loud thunderclap that woke the 3yo up before 630. He then woke up the 5yo. They are both cranky. It’s going to be a long day. But I do get to go to a Beverly Lewis/Julie Klassen book signing today.
Playing in the background: Tangled
NovelTrack: 8111 [that was Apr. 1-5, haven’t written a word since Tuesday], goal: 50K

God’s Timing is Perfect – Again…

…or still… 😉

By about noon yesterday, I knew that the Genesis semifinalists were being notified by phone.

By 9:45 last night, I admitted that I wasn’t going to get one. I’d been realizing that for a while, but that’s when I admitted it on Facebook.

The list was officially released about 12:10AM at my house. I scrolled through it. Saw names I recognized. Sent out a couple of emails – including one to a gal I’ve exchanged manuscripts with for critiquing. Planned to cry a bit. But first an email came in.

From a friend of mine named Amanda.

Her husband is the police chief of a small town. I’d emailed him a couple of weeks ago after he’d agreed to answer some questions for me for Nick and Becca’s story. Last night, she said they both wanted to read it and really hoped I’d finished it. She also asked if UNBREAK HER HEART had been published because she wanted to read it, too.

See? God’s timing :).

I’d also been Facebook messaging with a gal I know who is a multi-pulished, award nominated author. She told me about how many rejections she’d gotten over the years. I told her I didn’t know if I could do that many. She told me about God’s timing in her career. This morning, I told her about Amanda’s email and that I guessed I was going to start querying this week anyway. And she said “yes, you really are going to query. 🙂:-)“.  So I guess I am =D.

One of these days, I’ll be able to look at this and know that it’s part of God’s timing. It’s hard to see now. And eventually, I’ll get the score sheets returned to me. It could be that the judges believed my entries were in the wrong categories. That’s possible. They don’t fit neatly into any of the categories so… That could be it. Or it could be other things. Or it could be that they really, truly didn’t like them for whatever reason.

Back to watching Tangled, then headed to a book signing for Beverly Lewis and Julie Klassen :).

Will post how many queries I’ve submitted by the end of next week. Goal is at least five and preferably ten. And hopefully be at at least 20K for Novel Track by next Friday.

God’s Timing…

…is perfect.

Shocking, no?

I had several emails pop up last night. None of them knew about yesterday’s post. But they were just what I needed. I’m feeling much much better today :). At least until Genesis semi-finalists are announced tomorrow. Then I may head back downwards. But at least I’m more prepared for it.

And you know… This was my Facebook status when I posted yesterday [still is actually]:

In the middle of my little mess, I forget how big I’m blessed. My chains are gone. I’ve been set free. My God, my Savior ransomed me. Like a flood, His mercy rains. Unending love. Amazing grace.

Maybe I need to go back to posting my FB status at the beginning of each post. Maybe posting that would have helped yesterday…

Okay – back to work. Schoolwork then SUBURBAN STRAIGHTJACKET!

Valleys

FYI: Mom, you’re not gonna like this post. Be forewarned.

Ugh.

“Life’s full of ups and downs.”

Hills and valleys.

Mountains and… well, valleys.

I hate valleys. I know I’m supposed to like them and be all “God, thanks for helping make me stronger” and stuff, but yeah. Notsomuch. Maybe someday I can look back on them and say that [and I have], but when going through them…

/sigh/

I’ve been promising myself I’d be more open and transparent and that maybe I’d blog more that way… I dunno.

I just know I had a good few days. Really good. Over 6K on a new WIP that I love. In three days. Progress on Nick and Becca. Making new friends who understand the writer’s psyche.

But then it all crashes. Less than 300 words the last two days. Unlikely to write tonight. I just stare at the blinking cursor. And I’m good at telling others what I do when I’m stuck – and I usually do those things – but right now… I just wanna chuck it all.

Give up on the dream.

Why me?

What makes me think I can do this?

And yeah – I know everyone says that. All great authors have been rejected [no, no new rejections – not until the Genesis semi list comes out on Friday – then I’ll likely be rejected twice at once; I know this. Usually I’m okay with this. Today I’m not]. All of them go through spells believing they’re not good enough. Or that they’ll be a one hit wonder or… Insert favorite feeling of failure here.

I get that. Really.

But I also watch American Idol. The first couple of weeks are filled with the initial auditions. Some of them are fabulous. The next Carrie Underwood. Or whoever. But some of them… “My mom says I’m fantastic.” You cringe when you hear that, don’t you? Because you know this person, most likely, is horrible. And you ask yourself why none of this person’s friends and family have never loved him enough to take him to the side and say “Look, FRIEND, I love you. You know that. And that’s why I’m telling you right now that even Paula would have a hard time saying something nice about your singing.”

And some of them come back year after year.

I wonder if I’m that friend. The one that is going to keep sending queries to editors and agents. And every time, they read it and cringe and wonder why no one has told me that I simply can’t do this writing thing.

Yeah, everyone has the self-doubt thing going on. But sometimes it’s because you’re really, really not any good. Like if you wanted me to take out your appendix. Trust me. You don’t want me to try. Because I’m no good at medical stuff.

I wonder when someone’s going to pull a Paula Abdul and sit me down and, as nicely as possible, tell me that if I never wrote another word it would be too soon.

This is a valley. A fairly bad one full of self-doubt, occasionally bordering on self-loathing. With little things that wouldn’t bother me most of the time beating me over the head like a two-by-four. I’m sure I’ll snap out of it. Eventually. And look at this post and, someday, point at it and say “See? I’m just like everyone else.”

Until then… I wish I had some Ben and Jerry’s…

Did I mention I hate valleys?

/sigh some more/

Weekend Wonderings… Or Something

NovelTrack started Friday, April 1. Check out Mary Connealy’s newest book posted over on Inkwell Inspirations – Lasso the Moon. 😉

Friday, I wrote 716 words total. That was all on PRAYERS ANSWERED. Saturday, I wrote another 1159 on PA, but reached a point where I need to figure out what I don’t know so I can learn it. Cops. FBI. Etc. Rather than write it and need to rewrite it later, I’m waiting to hear from a the husband of a friend who is police chief of a town near here. Will go from there.

I spent about 8.5 hours at Panera yesterday. Had lunch with a friend and brainstormed a story. I’ve had the cover in my head for a while. At one point, it was the only title I could come up with for what is now PA.

SUBURBAN STRAIGHTJACKET

Andrew and Ruthie. Thinking more of Ruthy from 7th Heaven than Ruthy from Seekerville, but don’t tell her that ;).

And, oh Mylanta, they’re both adorable so it’s okay. Right? Plus Ruthy has my current favorite hero in Trent Michaels so… [plus another of her books will be winging… er USPSing it’s way to my house soon – thanks to a Seekerville win last week =D]

Anyway, once I ran into a roadblock with PA, I decided why not? SUBURBAN STRAIGHTJACKET was begun! [Edit: Wrote 3075 on that one yesterday…]

What is it?

Modern mail-order bride meets Mr. Mom

Well, not mail-order. Craigslist. But close enough ;). Need to figure out who my stars look like…

Today, I’ve cuddled a sleeping baby at church, hung with the fam, cut a 3-year-old’s hair, went outside with the kids and am planning to write more SUBURBAN STRAIGHTJACKET in a bit! Good day!

Look how handsome!

Check out the last post for a pic of him with hair ;).

See how much I cut off below – Daddy had gotten his hair cut and so Christopher needed his cut too =D.

Okay – back to NovelTracking… Current total: 4939

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