Carol Moncado

The other day my daughter orally lamented a previous conversation. “I always think of my best come-backs too late.” I know how she feels, although I’m probably on the other end of the spectrum—I often wish I hadn’t said X or Y once the conversation is done. At least in writing we can carefully craft our words, which should make it easier, right? Not necessarily. Writing effective, authentic, snappy dialogue is a skill that must be honed. And yet, when done well, it plunges the reader deep into the story and provides vivid characterization.

This last week two authors threw their “chatty-keyboards” into the Clash of the Titles‘ ring and although both excerpts were phenomenal, Sarah Sundin, author of A Memory Between Us, wowed readers with her printed banter.

Here’s a snippet of her COTT competing excerpt:

Jack made out Ruth’s shapely figure coming down Northgate Street. She couldn’t afford the new olive drab uniforms some of the nurses wore, but she sure looked smart in the dark blue jacket and medium blue skirt.

Jack stepped back around the corner. He unzipped his lightweight leather flight jacket, made sure his shirt collar was open, and stuffed his hands into the pockets of his olive drab trousers. Had to look casual.

He let Ruth pass, then fell in behind her. “‘One misty moisty morning.’”

Ruth looked over her shoulder and smiled.

“‘When cloudy was the weather, I chanced to meet an old man clothed all in leather. He began to compliment and I began to grin. How do you do? And how do you do? And how do you do again?’”

Amusement crinkled her eyes. “It’s afternoon.”

“Yeah, but it’s misty and moisty. Life in England has taught me what that means.”

“No misty moisty mornings in California?”

“In January, not August.” Jack proceeded down the flagstone sidewalk. “And look, you chanced to meet an old man clothed all in leather.”

***
Gotta love that phrase, “Misty, moisty morning,” an example of great dialogue and fun alliteration!

The story it came from is about a determined soldier on a mission to win a woman’s heart:

Major Jack Novak has never failed to meet a challenge–until he meets army nurse Lieutenant Ruth Doherty. When Jack lands in the army hospital after a plane crash, he makes winning Ruth’s heart a top-